b r a v e c r e a t u r e s

OK, so name me a world leader with a partner that you could describe as hot.

Laura Bush? Too Stepford.

Cherie Blair? Too Lex Luthor

Janette Howard? Um…who?

Camilla Parker Bowles? Oh HELL no!!

Rosalynn Carter, Barbara Bush, Betty Ford, Nancy Reagan, Hillary Clinton? Sweet, but simple; Crazy as a loon, Put the bottle down Betty, that red dress is getting TIRED, Hilary is a maybe, but then she is a big of a bloke and so gets my motor running a little.

Kayoko Miyamoto is very pretty, but she divorced Koizumi so I don't think she counts. And Dianna is dead so also out of the running.

Trust not only the faggots but the GERMAN faggots to come up with a candidate for first hot spouse of world leader.

Second term mayor of Berlin, Klaus "Wowie" Wowereit, appears to being groomed (eh hum, like he needs it) to run against Angela Mirkin Merkel for the position of Chancellor of Germany. And his boyfriend, Jorn Kubicki? TOTALLY HOT!! In a very German, whose your daddy kind-o-way.

Of course the international media is totally focusing on him (Klaus') being a flaming Mo. Paraphrasing the press its been all "Like Oh my GOD, he TOTALLY hugged his partner when he won his second term". What do you expect? A firm, manly handshake? If it was any other leader, if they DIDN'T hug their partner it would have been a big deal.

Double standards people.

All of this is of course exacerbated by him causing a storm among more traditional voters last year by endorsing a sex-fetish fair in the capital featuring sado-masochism, bondage and other deviant pursuits. Its GERMANY for gods sake, they pretty much invented "deviant pursuits". Its got to just be in the national interes, hasn't it?

Personally I am having almost endlessly happy day dreams of George Bush sitting down at the G8 with Wowie, no neck rubs there I suspect.

I have no idea about his politics, and since I don't vote in Germany my opinion doesn't matter†, but I am all for him.

Meanwhile in other international-leaders-who-could-be-gay news - the Exclusive Brethren, the true love of conspiracy theorists world wide, have "apparently" been trying to frame the kind-of-hot-herself Prime Minister of New Zealand, Helen Clarkes, husband Peter Davis, for being gay.

You would think the right wing nut job god botherers christian lobbyist could come up with a better evil plan legitimate strategy to take over the world influence politics. Really people - some CREATIVITY please, I mean where have all the truly evil masterminds gone?

Its little wonder that I cant I get fricken sharks with fricken lasers in their heads if the demand for them is so low.

†Shocking, I know

Much excitement around my personal and professional campfire. My producing lecturer from the VCA, and now friend, Ros Walker is circling ever nearer to getting her feature film up at last. At least according to Hollywood reporter.

Ros is characteristically playing her cards close to her chest on this, but I am hopeful for her because:

a/ its a really great story, b/ she really deserves it and c/ its a REALLY great story.

Here is the quote from aap wire.

Mendelsohn, Colosimo star in new movie
Friday May 26 06:16 AEST
Ben Mendelsohn and Vince Colosimo will star opposite Spanish actor Elena Anaya in outback drama The Floating World.

Industry press at the Cannes International Film Festival reported John Winter would write and direct the film which is being sold at the festival trade fair.

The Hollywood Reporter described the film as a "haunting and at times disturbing journey".

Anaya, who has starred in such films as Sex and Lucia and Van Helsing, will play an inconsolable Spanish widow who sets up house in the Australian bush at a truck stop where she exchanges sexual favours for food.

The Floating World is being produced by Roslyn Walker of Walker Films and John Winter through his company Wintertime Films.

Palace Film will distribute The Floating World in Australia and New Zealand.

©AAP 2006

Now the common wisdom is that one does not dis-respect either the Australian film industry or ones own minority cinema. But given that the opening night film for this years Melbourne Queer Film Festival, “50 ways of saying fabulous” is both from New Zealand and, well, not very good, I feel vindicated in giving it a bit of a raspberry.Actually, since the president or co-convener or grand dame of Melbourne Queer Film Festival (MQFF), or whatever they are calling that position now a day, is an old mate I probably should feel bad about being harsh - but I don’t*

Truth be told, the film is ok without being sensational. It is a faithful retelling of the book by Graham Atkins and shares many of the strengths and weaknesses of the original. In particular the story is missing a strong narrative drive. It moves from scene to scene without any real strong, binding story arc. It is in effect 50 vignettes in search of a narrative.

I remember when I read the book I started by really enjoying it, thinking it was really interesting and funny. But as each chapter progressed, a sense of sameness settled over the book each chapter was funny in a self contained kind of way, but they didn’t link into anything greater. It felt like the rambling reminiscences of an elderly relative on mild sedatives

The film captures this sense of meandering beautifully.

By moving to the screen, there was the opportunity to bring some of the hero character flights of fantasy to life. In the first 10 minutes that’s exactly what they did, and beautifully so. Cross dressing preteens in space, giant monster footballs, flying saucers and some really marvelous acting from the leads.

And then it stops, apart from one wet dream sequence that is more disappointing than anything for its poor execution.

All up I got teased with this wonderful fantasy set that had no follow through.

Sitting back and looking at the whole piece, it’s a cute enough coming of age story for a rural fag (autobiographical much) which has some sweet nostalgia if you went through it, but I think fails to connect if you didn’t live through it.

If it’s a quiet Sunday night in over winter, grab this as a B movie to watch with you beau on the sofa.

*sorry Tony

This is starting to get me cranky, not that it takes that much.

The Japanese are in the Antarctic, in Australian waters (more or less), hunting and killing whales for - and here is where I get lost - SCIENTIFIC PURPOSES.

WAH?!?!

Cause dead whales will really help us better understand them, oceanography, the Antarctic ecological environment, krill and, oh wait, yeah, SUSHI. I shit you not, this has to be the lamest piece of cover work on science since the US started testing nuclear devices at Area 19 in Nevada. During the tests conducted there in the 1960’s the workers were not given much in the way of protective clothing and have gone on to pretty much all get cancer.

Oops.

Back in the southern hemisphere, the relatively impartial New Zealand government is questioning the Japanese agenda, which has GOT to be a sign that all is not kosher on the Nisshin Maru. But is anyone paying attention/giving a shit?

Nope.

Nothing seems to be getting any decent international attention. Not even the media circus over the who hit who(m) dodge round up between the Nisshin Maru and the Sea Sheppard, the Farley Mowat and the Oriental Bluebird.

Please note that the Farley Mowat fetchingly has a blade device on its side designed to rip open another ship’s hull - kind of Australia 2 with roid rage. You would think that at least Jana Wendt would get up tight about that, if not Dan Rather. But no.

Meanwhile the Australian government is staunchly sitting on its hands. Environment Minister Ian Campbell with his youthful ward Greg Hunt (just try and tell me that relationship isn’t creepy) seems to be off on “hols” since there hasn’t been a peep out of them. The best we are getting from DEH is a “no comment” from a low level minion.

It would seem that J’Ho’s house of trained poodles are just not up to the task of managing international politics without a firm hand on the leash. Only the inner cabal - Treasury, Health, Immigration and maybe Defence, get to talk without a minder.

Enough, this is giving me a head ache. Just thinking about two more years of the Nazi Party in control of this country is bringing dinner back to haunt me.

Please write to The Minister for Raping the Environment and tell him that even though whales have out evolved him he should not give into bitterness (cause its only pretty on Barbie). He need to grow a spine, and tell the Japanese to fuck off.

Here endth the rant.

PS Have a look at John Howard’s blog. I nearly swallowed my tongue laughing.