b r a v e c r e a t u r e s

Sometimes when you travel, particularly when you have stood still for a long while, the places you visit get inside you. today I feel positively aglow, willingly invaded by the basking golden glow of Iberian sunshine.

I am in the stunning new airport in Madrid awaiting my flight back to my new home in London and I can feel the warmth and contentment radiating from me.

The parties over the weekend were wild and exciting, the people unbelievably open, helped no doubt by old friends from San Francisco - now Londoners,  Andreas and Massimo, who seem to both know everyone and be welcomed by them.  A better introduction I could not have had.

Not enough sleep, not enough food but there was hardly time to stop . There were too many things to see and do, to many people to meet to let me feet touch the ground for long - little own my head hit the pillow.

Something in me feels like it has come alive again, a contentment and connection to the world that I have not felt since San Francisco. I still have no idea how this latest adventure, this chapter in my life, will play out. But I am sure this was the right decision.

London is apparently a little grey today, and wrapped in a blanket of tension from the latest terrorist threats, but I am heading back there a glow with the warmth of Spain and the excitement of unknown possibilities.

More pictures from Madrid over at Flickr . 

Tonight I was packing boxes.

Packing for a move to another city, another place, another job. Its time for something new, and I am excited about it. I have been throwing things out for the last few weeks in preparation of this possibility, or another possibility that has been on the horizon. And because I can be a bit of a pack rat.

Clothes, papers, books, bits and pieces of tech crap thats broken or outdated. Lots of junk has gone, mostly to charity - or recycling of some kind. Nice to put things back if I can.

So far I have packed my DVD's, CD's and tonight I was packing books. Amongst them are some that I am not sure what to do with.

It was 2001 James and I were trying to make a move to San Francisco happen. James' move was certain but mine was sill in the air. Plan A was looking shaky and so I was working a Plan B, namely to take an assignment with my then employer in London. How this was going to get me closer to San Francisco is a long story, just trust me that it seemed like a good idea.

I was really excited about going, but really not looking forward to being separated from James. As a way to cheer me up and help me focus on the posative, he bought me a book - Fodors Guide to London.

This is the book I found tonight.

I sat up in bed at night reading it, and reading the best bits out loud to James. I was so excited about going, there were so many things I wanted to see there. The book still has my notes in it and the red tabs on pages of interest. I am always so excited about travel, about the things I will see, the people I will meet, how the air will smell, how the food will taste. James was always much more cautious about travel. Will he be able to get breakfast cereal, will he be able to find away around, what if he gets lots, how do the phones work.

Very different approaches, and it tells you a lot about who we both are as people. One impulsive and daring, a dreamer; the other careful and sensible, a planner. Neither is right, neither is wrong. In truth the approaches are complimentary - if you can make the balance work, trust each other.

This book started something of a tradition for us. Whenever we were going somewhere, I would buy a book for James. A book to help him see, the excitement, the possibilities. They worked, a little. He became more adventurous for a while. For a while tonight I sat on the floor flipping through these travel books, remembering the excitement on his face when we talked about going places together - London, San Francisco, the Caribbean, Vancouver, Orlando. Very happy memories.

Flipping through the London book tonight, something fell out. A twenty dollar bill that had been pressed between the pages.

Another gift from James.

He worried about me, that something might go wrong or I might be in trouble - and so he put $20 into the book as emergency money. He is a very sweet man and he always watched out for me. He couldn't take care of me in London so he did little things like this to try and make sure I would be OK.

I am not a child, I been to more places, walked in more timezones than he has, and I can take care of myself. Rather than be insulted by his gesture, I was flattered. Here was this big, handsome, robust man telling me in his typically non verbal way that I was important to him, that he cared about me.

I am not sure if I should keep the books, or give them back to him. of who they really belong to. I guess thats because they are shared, belong to us. I have carefully packed them away for now, along with a number of other treasured memories, and someday I hope he and I can sit down and share the memories of what they mean.

Searching, and looking for love this month are:

1. Jinn The Otter

The most famous antipodean animal has been flown to Christchurch's Willowbank Wildlife Reserve to meet five year-old male Jala. The celebrity wants to settle down and  raise otter cub, but she might not be keen on her chosen mate, as zoo-keepers say Jala "has been at the bottom of the pecking order" in his all-male group of otters so far.

2. Dutch Orangutans Zookeepers

Zookeepers in Holland are starting to match up their orangutans with ones in Indonesia over the internet. The animals can see each other online and, by pressing a button, can choose to show they like each other by giving each other food.

Ok there is a name for this, and its Gaydar. I think one of these Orangutangs have send me an "I like". 

3. Indian Businessman 

An unnamed Indian 24 year-old is having an operation to remove one of his two penises so he can try and have a normal sex life. Diphallus is a rare condition that means two separate functioning penises grow, and there are only 100 reported cases in the world (although its known to among one in 5.5 million men so a lot of men are keeping quiet about their spare dick.

I can sympathise. I have been in a situation where there was a spare dick hangining around, and it took some pretty drastic measures to get rid of it. 

Thanks to the Popbitch for the pointers. 

There once was a man.

Not a priest or a lord or a hero, just a man. But a kindly man.

In the city where the man lived there were many poor people who had been abandoned by their king. These paupers begged for money to buy food and clothes. Many had no homes to go to and lived on the streets sleeping in the cold and rain.

The people of the city did not want to give money to the poor fearing it would simply be spent the money on wine or strong spirits, so the people donated to charities so the money would be well spent.

The kindly man, like many men in the city, donated some small part of his earnings to these charities to help the poor. But the kindly man also did something else.

When the poor of the city begged money from him, he did not ignore them. Instead he answered their request politely, even if refusing them. One day, one of the other citizens asked the man "why do you talk to the poor, why do you respond?".

And the man said "I may not give them money, but I will not also take away their self respect by denying their existence".

Sometimes the kindly man is more gracious and noble than any lord, or hero.

 A pretty story? Also a true story. It's about someone I once knew\, and who I will always value for being a kindly man.

Much excitement around my personal and professional campfire. My producing lecturer from the VCA, and now friend, Ros Walker is circling ever nearer to getting her feature film up at last. At least according to Hollywood reporter.

Ros is characteristically playing her cards close to her chest on this, but I am hopeful for her because:

a/ its a really great story, b/ she really deserves it and c/ its a REALLY great story.

Here is the quote from aap wire.

Mendelsohn, Colosimo star in new movie
Friday May 26 06:16 AEST
Ben Mendelsohn and Vince Colosimo will star opposite Spanish actor Elena Anaya in outback drama The Floating World.

Industry press at the Cannes International Film Festival reported John Winter would write and direct the film which is being sold at the festival trade fair.

The Hollywood Reporter described the film as a "haunting and at times disturbing journey".

Anaya, who has starred in such films as Sex and Lucia and Van Helsing, will play an inconsolable Spanish widow who sets up house in the Australian bush at a truck stop where she exchanges sexual favours for food.

The Floating World is being produced by Roslyn Walker of Walker Films and John Winter through his company Wintertime Films.

Palace Film will distribute The Floating World in Australia and New Zealand.

©AAP 2006

Mixed into the regular things I think about; hair, food, shoes, food, dancing and food; there is the occasional deeper topic like climate change and evolutionary biology. I also occasionally think about the nature of human relationships.

Over the weekend I was thinking about the notion of there being one person for you in life, one perfect partner. Its a nice idea, but I have to admit that it doesn't seem very realistic. Except in hindsight. Looking back over a lifetime with a partner its easy to say "they were the one" but at the start of a relationship is it really that possible to judge. And is someone being "the one" a product of our intrinsic natures, or is it a product of two people being prepared to work together?

Now I will admit right now that I am HUGELY romantic, but even given that my sense is that a successful relationship comes out of being prepared to work together, talk through you differences and make a long term commitment to being together. In this I feel like I am dreadfully 1950's in my approach, but I can't see the point in forever looking over my shoulder to see if there is someone better waiting in the wings. For me there is a huge value to shared experience.

This was really highlighted for me in a recent meeting with my ex, Steve. After 9 years apart, with very little contact, there was a sense of connection that was impossible for either of us to ignore or deny. I am not saying that we were about to leap across the table and have at it there and then. Neither of us is interested in getting back together. It was more the sense of something shared, something deeper and more profound, that made the conversation something other than just a chat.

There is another end to the spectrum, the current relativistic notion that relationships last until some lesson is learnt and then we move on. This feels to me like a cop out, a way to wiggle out when the going gets tough, a way to shrug off our responsibilities to each other, and ourselves. But if you abandon someone when they need you, how can you expect to be supported in your own time of need? And arnt relationships about support as much as they are about having a good time?

Don't get me wrong, I want my relationships to be characterised by laughter and fun, but the truth is that life is not all good times. There are troubles to be faced and if you cant face them with the support of your partner, what use are they?

My feeling is that there isn't a "one" out there for me, any partnership that I have will be built out of mutual respect and commitment, out of a choice to make each other the one.

In the end, for me, it is these choices that define who we are.

So who are you? 

Dear oh me.

It was a friends birthday this week and a movie was the appropriate thing to do, so as it was the opening day for the Da Vinci Code, we went Gold Class.

Now let me tell you that the newly revamped Gold Class at the Jam Factory here in Melbourne is very glam, and worth the trip. The food is WAY too expensive for what it is, but a charming bottle of bubbles fixed that right up. Or at least dulled the pain.

Another result is my usual incisive film review may be a little wobbly today.

The only way you could have avoided knowing something of the Da Vinci Code is to have hidden under a rock. Dan Browns novel has stirred up HUGE amounts of media attention, and the marketing folks have jumped on that controversy band wagon for the movie. Between the failed law suit by the authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail, and every Christian sect and its dog needing to make comment, its been a bonanza of free media.

Personally I don't see it. the book wasn't THAT good. I guess people just love a conspiracy.

The film of the book is also OK. Nicely shot. Well directed and workman like acting from all of the cast. Tom Hanks is a little wooden as Langdon (but then Langdon is wooden),  Jean Reno a little caricatured as the french cop Fache and Ian McKellen pretty much phones it in as Teabing. Its nice to see Audrey Tautou again, and in a role so different to Amélie, but the film doesn't ask much of her.

Clearly a lot of money was spent on the film. It looks beautiful, although I cant say I got anything extra from the cinematography or the production design. They really just supported the main story without giving much additional depth to it.

Missing for me was the feeling of an almost all powerful 2000 year old conspiracy, that would stop at nothing. The plot really seemed confined to the limits of what was on screen. This is almost the complete opposite of the film V for Vendetta which clearly has too much outside the realms of the screen.

Or maybe I am a cranky bastard who is never happy. Thats been suggested before. 

The film doesn't stray from the book, so don't expect surprises. A few minor details are skimmed, but I get the feeling the book was written with a screen play in mind, so there was not much needed to be removed.

All up, you are not going to miss anything if this one gets saved for a DVD night at home, but if  you feel the need to join in the "experience", or want a low mental engagement date movie (so you can concentrate on the groping) then pop a long to the cinema. For me, the bottle of bubbles was what made the day.

After a dip into the personal, its probably about time to focus back on the rest of the world for a bit.Australia’s North and Central Queensland has just been hit by a cyclone, a hurricane in northern parlance that has devastated the cost and a surprising distance inland. Cyclone Larry was a cat 5 storm, which puts it on a similar scale to hurricane Katrina, the storm that left New Orleans devastated late last year.

Now its important to note that the Innisvale region of central Queensland where Larry made landfall is nowhere near as populated as coastal Louisiana, nor is it as low lying and exposes as New Orleans, but none the less there has been no loss of life, the emergency services swung into action before the storm and within two days the Little J’Ho was announcing comprehensive support packages for the farmers whose entire crops were whipped out.

I am not blowing Australia’s trumpet overmuch on this, I think that the response to Larry is appropriate, well sized and timed. I think the US reaction to Katrina was and continues to be appallingly slow. It seems like the majority of the money being spent on Katrina was by the media outlets covering it. If the money it cost to get those reporter all over the gulf states, if the transport had been used for food and medical supplies, if the energy had been used helping rather than to feed the voyeuristic desires of the American people, perhaps things would not have gone so amazingly badly.