b r a v e c r e a t u r e s

With some irony considering my previous post from 6 am this morning, guess what arrived today.

My Christmas present from Mr Special, after a little drama with store.

Because there were none in stock when Mr S went to buy it, and because he was sure (correctly) it was a great gift for me he give me a gift card from Myer - who have NO idea about customer service.

After calling almost every day to see if its was in; cause they wont take pre-orders and wont call you to let you know they are in stock; dropping in on the weekend and generally being a (charming) pest, they finally called me today to let me know they had stock - would I like to come down.

So I did.

And on my Birthday too. Bless. Things are looking up for this year.

Given that its a STINKING HOT DAY here in Melbourne, you know that I am now going to be up until 3 in the morning playing Zelda, naked in my living room, don't you.

Here in Australia the weather is well and truly freaking out. A week before Christmas here in Melbourne the temperature was around 32°  every day for a week, and in Melbourne that means dry heat. A week later and it was 18° and snowing in the Victorian High Country.

At Christmas!

Now for your northern centric bores, remember thats like saying it was snowing in San Francisco or London on June 25th.

Freakish!

Of course it did help contain the once in a century bush fires that were at the time ravaging an area the size of Belgium in the states north east. But apart from that small dump of snow, the country appears to have been unbelievably dry. Farmers in the Murray Darling Basin*, one of Australia's bread baskets, conveniently placed in one of the most naturally arid regions in the country, are entering their seventh year of drought. Meanwhile  most capitals are  employing quite sever water restrictions and Melbourne's reservoirs are expected to drop to 20% by May '07.

Its disturbing, in an Al Gore kind of way.

I went to a party up in Lismore for New Years Eve, Tropical Fruits, and the landscape in New South Wales could not be more different to Victoria. Its green and lush still, while down here it is frighteningly dry and brown. The party was fairly good, but it got fairly cold over night and because I was re-hydrating responsibly I found that I was heading to the bathroom every 20 minutes or so. I say "bathrooms" but in fact there was not much in the way of facilities on offer and because boys will be guys† were going where ever they liked.

It feel like we had become nothing more than a clandestine mechanism for moving water from one place to another while warming it slightly. Its as if the Lismore Shire Council was secretively flouting the water restrictions by using 2000 gay men as a watering system for their lawns.

Aside from anything else it resulted in an evening of "no don't sit there…or there..no not there either".

But I digress.

In actuality its been a higher than average rainfall year for Australia. No really, it has. Its just that its not raining on the places we live and farm - which used to be where it rained all the time. Thats why we lived and farmed here.

But it seems that has changed. According to the Australian Bureau of Meteorology, 2006 has not only been one of the hottest years on record, its been one of the strangest and the Australian farming districts heading for a decade of drought its pretty clear that Australia is going to need to lead the world in addressing climate change. I know I am banging a well gonged drum at the moment, but this needs reinforcement at every level because the reality of the situation STILL Doesnt seem to be sinking in with most people.

Its going to take more than a few peeing faggots to solve the problem. Its going to take a concerted effort, changes in habits (do you really need to flush), government and public programs and a willingness on the part of businesses to look to get ahead of the climate change curve and advantage from the differences rather than suffer. But before they will do that, there needs to be government pressure to push them in that direction.

As my friend Sharon says - Carrot AND Prickly Stick.

The question I have for you dear reader is - what the hell are you doing? What have you changed in the last 12 months to reduce power usage (power leads to carbon remember), reduce emissions and reduce water usage.

At the very least, have you written to your local member, or the Minister for the Environment and Heritage letting them know that you are concerned with the issue and you want them to address it more directly? If you dont say anything, they don't know - and an email takes literally 10 minutes. 

Think about it - ok? 

* Actually its name, I am not just being camp 

† And some girls actually

I thought it would be worth while to reflect a little on the past year. I set myself a few goals for 2006 so lets have a look at how I did.

First and foremost

> Be happier

Definitely!

After the appallingly unhappy years of 2004 & 2005, '06 has been MUCH better. I have been caring a whole lot less what other people think, been concerning myself with my own stuff and living within my own limits. I had put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, get everything right and not fail at anything I do, and that's just not possible I am afraid. I think the biggest thing I am learning is to forgive myself my weaknesses and worry about the things that I can effect and control rather than all the things outside my control.

With a new job has come some opportunities to affirm my capabilities to myself. The last job I had in the US was pretty draining in the end, and with all the other things that were going on behind my back - lies, betrayal, infidelity - my confidence was pretty shaken. This new role has allowed me to regain some of my strength, while the year of so off has taught me to not value myself for my work alone.

> Learn Spanish

Not quite.

Having met quite a number of Francophone's at the start of 2006 I went for French instead.

J'ai étudié French pour six mois avec L'Alliance de Francaise et je jouis l'expérience. My french classes are all of Saturday morning, about 4 hours each week. Its pretty draining, but I like the mental challenge. Apparently I have a good accent and my construction is good, but I need to work a little more on my vocab. I suspect I will try studying a different way this year as I appear to be spending a lot of time shuttling to Sydney on the weekends, which is difficult if my Saturday mornings are taken up.

I am enjoying it a lot though so I don't plan to give it up. I would really like to spend some time in France soon, as I suspect that would really help. I am thinking I might need to relocate for a while to Europe so I can get some immersion.
 
> Physical Adventures

I work out a lot, and mostly I enjoy the exercise, but I feel that gym work is a bit limited and unreal so this year I wanted to do some more physical things. While I didn't get into a really regular routine with anything, I managed a few adventures.
In January of this year I went diving on the Great Barrier Reef with a mate from France, and had a fantastic time. I learnt to dive after visiting the Maldives with Stephen in 1996. I got my certificate after that and went diving a couple of times, but dating an (unadventurous) asthmatic put a bit of a crimp in that so I hadn't been diving for years.

Its a really beautiful and peaceful experience.

Even my overactive cognition slows to a putter when I am underwater and my head is full of only the sounds of my own breathing.

I also went rock climbing a few times, which TOUGH but great. Its made harder for me given that I am nearly 115kgs and that's a lot of weight to dangle from your fingertips. I think there are also some technical skills that I need to learn because I was pretty crap at it, but I think I might go on an adventure weekend this year and see if I can pick a few things up.

Gliding is not exactly a physical adventure, but it was a blast none the less. I had developed over the long dark tea time of the soul that was '04/'05 a bit of an aversion to heights and flying. I found I had gotten really anxious about it, so I figured the best way to deal with that developing fear was to face it.

Gliding is an amazing sensation, peaceful and not at all scary - which surprised me a bit. I didn't go in for any acrobatics, unlike my adventure partner, but next time I will. And i am sure there will be a next time.

I am working my way up to parachuting, but one step at a time I think.

> Finish my Masters

Oops. Didn't get this one done. But you cant do everything. I have until the middle of next year so I still have some time up my sleeve, but I need to get a wriggle on.

> See more of Australia

After travelling in America, I decided that I need to make sure I had seen more of my own home country before I stepped outside again.
This year I managed Cairns, Port Douglas, the Daintree, the Reef, Batemans Bay, Jarvis Bay, Canberra , Byron Bay, Lismore and the Yarra Valley. I want to do some more short trips this year coming and I REALLY want to get to Uluru. I have not seen the desert interior of my country and I want to. I would love to cross the Nullabore on the  Indian Pacific train, or go to Darwin on the Ghan. We will see how those plans come along.

All up I think I did pretty well for 2006, so now its time to start thinking about what's on for 2007. I will make a more definitive list by my birthday in mid January, but for now here are some opening thoughts.

> Plan less, be more in the moment
> Become more financially stable
> Save the deposit for a apartment for my mother and purchase said property
> Complete my Masters thesis
> Disconnect myself completely from my ex (there is still some peripheral entanglement, but I am chipping away at it)
> Travel overseas again
> More physical adventures
 - Abseil
 - Parachute
 - Rafting
 - Snowboarding

As a final note on 2006 I think I will remember it as the year that I learned my heart hadn't grown cold and hard. It seems as badly hurt as I was by my ex, my capacity to be open and trusting was only set aside, not forsaken. While I have been proving this to myself, there is someone who as been a catalyst. I don't know where things are going with him, but I do know that  I am enjoying it and I have missed him a lot while we have been off on our separate, long pre-planned, Christmas getaways.

I am up in Sydney for Christmas, and if you are in Melbourne and reading this, please dont rob my house. All the good gadgets are with me anyhow so there is nothing worth lifting.

I am up here to spend Christmas with my mother and our extended family. This is the first time in about 7 years we will all be together and we are all looking forward to it I think. I came up here last night to spent the night with Paul. He is off to Canada to go skiing, which had been planned a long time ago. I am a little disappointed he isn't going to be here for the holidays, but its not a big deal. I am glad he is going to have a good time, and what I am doing is the right thing for me. No drama.

HE is even kind enough to be letting me stay at his place which I am in Sydney and he is away.

So I am sitting here tonight, watching some TV and writing, and I find that it seems a little strange to be without him.  And its good to recognize that, at last, I am missing someone else.

Indeed all things do come.

Land-a-goshen

Things have been a little busy here lately, what with one thing and another, so I (clearly) haven't been writing.

My trusty N80 has a few partial blog entries in it but nothing is complete.

The concern my absence has caused has been palpable here at Brave Creatures where the phone has rung and a letter flooded in.

A concerned neighbour even popped past, although that was to ask me since the Eurovision Song Contest is now sadly past for the year, to stop playing Anna Sahlene. Or at the very least to stop singing along.

So now I am back writing - "fearlessly journaling unchampioned minutiae" is our catch cry‡ here at Brave Creatures and we don't want to disappoint our faithful reader(s?), or at least no more than normal.

So tonight its all about media players in the news. 

In a deal that smacks of about-time-ness and which will have teeth gnashing up at Kiamo Ko Castle, the Seattle lair of the evil empire, the relentless march of the iPod continues for the as the seemingly ubiquitous, byo entertainment device.

The story is that Apple is teaming up with Air France, Continental, Delta, Emirates, KLM and United to provide a hookup  between your iPod and their in-flight entertainment systems. These airlines are going to offer passengers an in-seat connection which will power and charge iPods during flight and allow the videos to be viewed on the seat back displays.

Woohoo!

For me the next step is kiosks that let you purchase video or music at the airport and sync it to you ipod without using your computer as an intermediate.

Now lets jut compare that little piece of marketing genius from Apple to their, well, "competitors" is a strong word in this case, lets just say "alternative".

Poor Microsoft, and the sadly names "Zune " - the self proclaimed iPod killer. They are managing to underwhelm whole continents of people - without even being released. Most of Europe appears to be getting in ahead of the Christmas rush, and  have started ignoring the Zune now before demand gets too high.

If you haven't heard anything about it yet, in short Zune is MS's new music player and online music service. Its big, its boxy, it not backwards compatible with MS's old music services, it comes in ugly brown, it has nearly pointless WiFi in it and the music store wont be available outside the US until late 2007 - which is basically forever in marketing terms.

The WiFi feature is particularly dumb, it smacks of Seattle bound geeks who have no social skills trying to design a sales channel and attempting to disguise it as a social networking tool. Like a giraffe in high heels - its fun about once, and then it wears completely thin.

And probably has PETA chasing you with a cease and desist order.

Another of its features-not-faults is that it doesn't work with Windows Vista or Windows Media Player 11.

Just pause to absorb that for a second.

It doesnt work with Microsofts own latest generation operating system and media player/management tool. But then why would it, they are only from the same company and are intended to be the hub of Microsofts new media strategy. You have to use the specific Zune software to sync with it - because we needed ANOTHER media management tool.

Oh, and the Zune is incompatible with Microsoft's own PlaysForSure digital rights management standard too.

And it doesn't support podcasts. 

Finally lets just talk about how you "purchase" music - if you ever make it that far. Just to prove that nothing can't be made unnecessarily complicated, the Zune "Marketplace†" doesn't use money. Well not directly.

First you need to buy Microsoft points, the very same ones I haven't managed to spend yet on XBox live yet. The Marketplace only accepts these Points, with an individual track typically costing the equivalent of the iTunes-standard 99 cents.

By forcing users to buy blocks of Points (with a $5 minimum), the Marketplace only has to pay one credit-card processing fee. Nice for them, but clouding the cost from us, since a point isnt worth exactly a dollar.

Points will also persumably make it easier for the Zune Marketplace to institute variable pricing. The music industry wants it desperately. The industry has been pressuring Apple to abandon its flat 99 cent pricing and start charging more for "hot" tracks, but apparently Job is standing firm against the high pitched whining of the media execs.

All up the Zune appears to have been exclusively designed by a committee of marketers from the record companies - and so underwhelming a product that even reviewers cant keep focused on it for more than a few seconds. 

‡ that or either - "what is she wearing" or "you can never have too many hats, gloves or shoes. We're still trying to decide.

†perhaps "Bizaar" would be a better term here than "Marketplace".

toxic bachelor (TAWKS.ik bach.uh.lur) n. An unmarried man who is selfish, insensitive, and afraid of commitment.

Example Citation:

2002 was a difficult year for me professionally.

The post 9-11 crash and the bursting of the tech bubble was in full swing. I was in San Francisco working for Digitas who were in the process re-reinventing themselves as a marketing company having dabbled briefly as a tech consultancy.

Digitas had been my dream job. It was exactly what I wanted to be doing, in exactly the city I wanted to be living in, but as the year progressed it became increasingly clear that there was no longer really a place for me. Everyone tried to find work for me to do. I have to say there were really great about it, but given the state of the economy it looked like the entire office was at risk, not just me. In a situation like that there is not much anyone can do.

The thing to remember about all of this, is that my visa was attached to my job. Its not like I could just up and walk away. If I had done that, or if they had fired me it was possible that I would only have days to leave the US. James was still working at USCF and enjoying it and while he wanted to go back to Australia more than I did, he was still not really ready to leave either.

It was a tough time for us, and resulted in some bad things, but as always there is another side.
Christmas that year, we were still pretty nervous. The Americans tend to travel home to their families, so most of our friends were away and given that I expected to be fired any day things were very low key.

As usual, James and I went overboard on gifts, but to be honest I couldn’t tell you what we got each other. What I can tell you is that the card James gave me is simply the most beautiful thing I have ever been given� .

The “card” was a video, a slideshow of pictures set to music and made on his beloved Mac in iPhoto. He spent HOURS getting the timing and transitions just so, making it perfect. The message was no matter what happened, no matter where we ended up we would be happy, we would make it through and we would continue to have fun.

Some of those things may no longer be true, but his sentiment and his care still warm me to this day.

The video is over in my photo album. Its a large quicktime file, but its worth seeing if you have time.