b r a v e c r e a t u r e s

I am up in Sydney for Christmas, and if you are in Melbourne and reading this, please dont rob my house. All the good gadgets are with me anyhow so there is nothing worth lifting.

I am up here to spend Christmas with my mother and our extended family. This is the first time in about 7 years we will all be together and we are all looking forward to it I think. I came up here last night to spent the night with Paul. He is off to Canada to go skiing, which had been planned a long time ago. I am a little disappointed he isn't going to be here for the holidays, but its not a big deal. I am glad he is going to have a good time, and what I am doing is the right thing for me. No drama.

HE is even kind enough to be letting me stay at his place which I am in Sydney and he is away.

So I am sitting here tonight, watching some TV and writing, and I find that it seems a little strange to be without him.  And its good to recognize that, at last, I am missing someone else.

Indeed all things do come.

The media landscape in Australia has just changed, and to be honest I am not quite sure what it means yet. My gut is that its not going to be good for diversity of voices or the local industry.

One thing I am fairly certain about is that power will be concentrated - the media barons are going to be spending the next year or so carving up the available pot of outlets into ever decreasing bundles of "impartiality".

I know its probably cynical of me, and not at all in keeping with my recent resurgence of pollyannaism, but I really feel like Helen Coonan is a bit of a melon head†. Or she is sleeping with the ghost of Kerry Packer. Or something. I am not entirely sure how anyone could have looked at the changes she has rammed through and thought it was going to result in anything other than a merger frenzy.

So its something else the next generation is going to have to struggle with, but at least we have Canada to compare ourselves to. It appears that given the same pressures, population size and problems, Canada has come up with the EXACT OPPOSITE solution. So we are going to get to see who is right - although not in a time frame that will mean that La Coonan will have to face the (DRM protected) music if she is wrong.

Meanwhile all of this kuffuffle reminds me of an appearance that Jon Stewart, host of the wonderful "Daily Show", made on Crossfire. An appearance that apparently resulted in Crossfire being taken off the air.

Maybe there is hope of reclaiming the media landscape.

Enjoy. 

† No offence to Helen. Her head really doesnt look at all like a Melon.

I had a thought the other day, about the nature of our world governments. And I am wondering if we haven't ended up back in some kind of monarchy.

I know that here in Australia, like many other countries† such as the US, the UK, Canada and Germany are nominally democracies of one stripe or another, but looking at how we talk about our government it feels like or heads of state are starting to regain the roles traditional place as all powerful monarch. We talk about the Bush Administration, or the Howard government as if the head of state is all powerful.

Meh!

The other day I heard that Director of Reconciliation Australia, Mick Dodson, has refused to deal with the Aboriginal Affairs Minister, Mal Brough, rather he will only deal with Mr Howard.

One - J'Ho shouldn't  be a one stop shop for everyones problems, no matter what he or random 16 year old school boys think.

Two - Dude! Can you not like work with someone to get a resolution. Phah. You can't pick your family, so stop getting your panties bunched about Mal Brough and get ON WITH IT. There are enough problems for Indigenous Australians with out you pulling a prissy. 

I am going to circle back to the whole "Head of State as Monarch" thing‡, but not tonight. Tonight we are going to have a little look at what happens when two of these new age Monarchs meet and greet.

No matter how powerful people become, basic school yard behaviour never seems far away. We know that the US is a little miffed at the Krauts about the whole not invading Iraq thing - cause, you know, that went so well. And if the Germans had joined in the blame would be spread a little thinner.

I also think that the US is still a little smug about the whole World War II thing.

At the recent G8 summit George Bush just didn't seem to be able to keep his hands to himself. He just had to step into Chancellor Merkels personal space with a bit of inappropriate behavior that in any other context would have earned any other person a trip to HR and some pretty serious counselling - that is IF the other party didn't press charges. In this case, since he is carrying the nuclear football it seems that we all shrug and look the other way.

Merkel at least clearly didn't appreciate the "gesture" but was able to give George a very clear NO MEANS NO. I must admit that I have an increased appreciation for George Bush's cultural illiteracy and rank stupidity courage. As anyone who has spent any time in Germany will be aware, you DON"T mess with the Hamburg Girls - they will FUCK YOU UP.

Given that Angela Merkel, a good Hamburger Fraulein, wiped the floor with cutely named, long standing incumbent of the role Gerhard Schröder. His good hair and craggy good looks (think Emilio Zegna model past his prime) was never going to save him once she got traction. Sorry dude. Personally I think its been a good transition for him. In my opinion, he was always going to be much happier following his musical career.

Covering the world from the tinyist, not to mention coldest flat in christendom is not an easy charge, but we here at Brave Creatures are deeply committed to boldy pursue the stories, the truth you need, no matter the cost.

Well enough of the truth to give you a general and fairly well slanted picture - or to get a gag out. Given the quality of journalism at the momnent we feel we are running well within the pack.

To improve the serivice to you are unpaying, but deeply devoted audiaqcne we here at Brave Creatures are starting to partner with other new affiliates to bring you more depth and insight on an issue, And in this case we are crossing live to New York City for some of Americas most hard hitting journalism on the Merkel Massage incident.

Thanks Jon .

† I dont include France in this list because they are too busy having sex and Italy because they are pretty much crazy.

‡ Oh and dont you know Betty Windsor is excited

I have been a bad blogger of late. Not much has come from me and for the six people who actually read this I am sure this has been a huge disappointment. To be honest, I haven't had much to say. My poison pen for the nonce is dry.

Well nearly.

A couple of random blog wanderings today have given me cause to extract a digit and try and get something down. The first was a blogger, who I enjoy reading, has me listed as one of his ten favourite blogs. Well fcuk me ('scuse me mum), am I flattered or WHAT.

The second was a blog posting from Big Paul in Canada. How I love this man, let me count the ways. He is married and I have no desire to change that, but he is just a wonderful, wonderful person. Not without faults‡ but then who is, and to be honest I don't feel the need for people to be without failings to be lovable.

Today I have been reflecting on a comment made by someone last night that I seem very cerebral, that I seem to function in my head more than my emotions. This is to some extent a surprise, cause I am a fairly emotional beast, but in truth its spot on the money. Over the last two years I have pulled back from my emotional life in an attempt to understand the things that have happened to me and to prevent any more of them occurring.

I have also been struggling to figure out what the hell happened. I guess I think that if I can figure it out, I can change it. But as someone very smart said to me a number of times, insight doesn't always give comfort.

Paul's post is interesting because I recognise that moment of falling to my knees and asking for things to be different, asking for some kind of answer. Sadly for me there was no Talmudic flash of insight, but over the last year in particular I have received pretty much this same piece of advice - from my Mother, from Marie, from Benja and Barbie and Joel and a range of people who are my friends.

To quote Paul and the Talmud, 'In the midst of the greatest darkness, what is the Jew to do?' 'Act as if the light has already come'.

So I have tried to and I do. I even listen to some related advice that James gave me any number of times - don't think so much. The question is though, how do you stop yourself thinking when you know that you need to stop thinking.

Circular problem that. Iam not sure what the answer is but I have determined, with some experimentation, it's not inebriation.

I suspect that Paul, and the Jews, are onto something. That I just need to keep acting like I am not thinking so much and in time it will be true. Not that thinking is such a bad thing, but its pretty great to just be, to just feel.

I have been really lucky that I have experienced some pretty elemental things, including really loving and being loved, and as much as my monkey brain gets in the  way sometimes I have every intention of doing so again.

‡that weather conspiracy thing, don't get it.

I had a great posting prepared for today, all about gay profiles and why I abandoned them. But alas a technology glitch snatched success from me.

In a style that would make my mate Eric proud, I have been writing entries on the train using my PocketPC iPaq 3870 and a micro keyboard - all of which I liberated from a previous employer, as a legit part of severance of course. The little iddy biddy keyboard is a little pokey, but I can get out a fair clip of writing and it makes the train trips faster. Plus its all really easy to carry around, so I figure its worth it.

That is until you accidentally delete it when syncing the device. Let me tell ya, the whole Apple iSync thing - it ROCKS.

There I said it, ok.

So for now my posting is lost. Until I get to work since its also on my computer there, but for now I am going to have to wing it.

Let me talk about my friend Bull from Canada.

He is a 40 something gay man living on Vancouver Island with his partner, the equally beautiful “Beard”. They are the quintessential bear couple. Hunky, sexy and not afraid of exploring their wilder side. In fact I suspect Bull and Beard have gone places no man has gone before, that is not without a dozen wagons, a blacksmith, a hardware store of equipment, a set of Tiffany lamps and a team of Sherpas.

These boys are serious. Fuck with then but you sure as shit don’t mess with them.

And yet for a serious muthafucker Bull is kind and funny, charming and very, very considerate. I have a soft spot for him because on a day that was black and cold, when I was very down, out of the blue he emailed me. Just to say “hi, heard things have been tough for you. You will be ok, but I hope you are ok now”.

Its little things like that that keep you ticking over when times are hard. It keeps your faith up.

Bull and I have started talking again by email and its easy to remember what it is I like about him. He is smart and funny and sharp as a pin. He and Beard are happy together, living a simple life and enjoying the things that are in it. They enjoy the parts of the world that are good for them, avoid the others and let the people who don’t like or approve of them go fuck themselves. They are beloved of the little old ladies in their village, septum piercings and all.

Plus there is something about him, both of them actually, that is just super sexy to me. For me that’s no mean feat, remembering of course that I am never having sex again.

It had slipped my mind, but both of them have A-MA-ZING bodies. Huge, masculine, mature and stunningly put together. Seeing them both, and talking to him reminded me that there are complex and amazing people out there. I loved being part of that world and I have been missing it here in my fortress of solitude .

Living in San Francisco, I was part of a tribe, a pack of incredible people. Not particularly rich, or famous, or stunningly beautiful people, well not the sort you see in fashion magazines, but good people, complex people and wonderfully engaging people. People who look after themselves for their own pleasure, not because they want to fit in or impress. People who look after those around them out of kindness, not because they want something out of it.

I miss that.

So tonight I got my hair cut, I did some more cardio and I ate low carb again for the first time in a few weeks. Because taking good care of myself makes me happy, because I miss my tribe, because I miss being THAT me.