b r a v e c r e a t u r e s

I thought it would be worth while to reflect a little on the past year. I set myself a few goals for 2006 so lets have a look at how I did.

First and foremost

> Be happier

Definitely!

After the appallingly unhappy years of 2004 & 2005, '06 has been MUCH better. I have been caring a whole lot less what other people think, been concerning myself with my own stuff and living within my own limits. I had put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, get everything right and not fail at anything I do, and that's just not possible I am afraid. I think the biggest thing I am learning is to forgive myself my weaknesses and worry about the things that I can effect and control rather than all the things outside my control.

With a new job has come some opportunities to affirm my capabilities to myself. The last job I had in the US was pretty draining in the end, and with all the other things that were going on behind my back - lies, betrayal, infidelity - my confidence was pretty shaken. This new role has allowed me to regain some of my strength, while the year of so off has taught me to not value myself for my work alone.

> Learn Spanish

Not quite.

Having met quite a number of Francophone's at the start of 2006 I went for French instead.

J'ai étudié French pour six mois avec L'Alliance de Francaise et je jouis l'expérience. My french classes are all of Saturday morning, about 4 hours each week. Its pretty draining, but I like the mental challenge. Apparently I have a good accent and my construction is good, but I need to work a little more on my vocab. I suspect I will try studying a different way this year as I appear to be spending a lot of time shuttling to Sydney on the weekends, which is difficult if my Saturday mornings are taken up.

I am enjoying it a lot though so I don't plan to give it up. I would really like to spend some time in France soon, as I suspect that would really help. I am thinking I might need to relocate for a while to Europe so I can get some immersion.
 
> Physical Adventures

I work out a lot, and mostly I enjoy the exercise, but I feel that gym work is a bit limited and unreal so this year I wanted to do some more physical things. While I didn't get into a really regular routine with anything, I managed a few adventures.
In January of this year I went diving on the Great Barrier Reef with a mate from France, and had a fantastic time. I learnt to dive after visiting the Maldives with Stephen in 1996. I got my certificate after that and went diving a couple of times, but dating an (unadventurous) asthmatic put a bit of a crimp in that so I hadn't been diving for years.

Its a really beautiful and peaceful experience.

Even my overactive cognition slows to a putter when I am underwater and my head is full of only the sounds of my own breathing.

I also went rock climbing a few times, which TOUGH but great. Its made harder for me given that I am nearly 115kgs and that's a lot of weight to dangle from your fingertips. I think there are also some technical skills that I need to learn because I was pretty crap at it, but I think I might go on an adventure weekend this year and see if I can pick a few things up.

Gliding is not exactly a physical adventure, but it was a blast none the less. I had developed over the long dark tea time of the soul that was '04/'05 a bit of an aversion to heights and flying. I found I had gotten really anxious about it, so I figured the best way to deal with that developing fear was to face it.

Gliding is an amazing sensation, peaceful and not at all scary - which surprised me a bit. I didn't go in for any acrobatics, unlike my adventure partner, but next time I will. And i am sure there will be a next time.

I am working my way up to parachuting, but one step at a time I think.

> Finish my Masters

Oops. Didn't get this one done. But you cant do everything. I have until the middle of next year so I still have some time up my sleeve, but I need to get a wriggle on.

> See more of Australia

After travelling in America, I decided that I need to make sure I had seen more of my own home country before I stepped outside again.
This year I managed Cairns, Port Douglas, the Daintree, the Reef, Batemans Bay, Jarvis Bay, Canberra , Byron Bay, Lismore and the Yarra Valley. I want to do some more short trips this year coming and I REALLY want to get to Uluru. I have not seen the desert interior of my country and I want to. I would love to cross the Nullabore on the  Indian Pacific train, or go to Darwin on the Ghan. We will see how those plans come along.

All up I think I did pretty well for 2006, so now its time to start thinking about what's on for 2007. I will make a more definitive list by my birthday in mid January, but for now here are some opening thoughts.

> Plan less, be more in the moment
> Become more financially stable
> Save the deposit for a apartment for my mother and purchase said property
> Complete my Masters thesis
> Disconnect myself completely from my ex (there is still some peripheral entanglement, but I am chipping away at it)
> Travel overseas again
> More physical adventures
 - Abseil
 - Parachute
 - Rafting
 - Snowboarding

As a final note on 2006 I think I will remember it as the year that I learned my heart hadn't grown cold and hard. It seems as badly hurt as I was by my ex, my capacity to be open and trusting was only set aside, not forsaken. While I have been proving this to myself, there is someone who as been a catalyst. I don't know where things are going with him, but I do know that  I am enjoying it and I have missed him a lot while we have been off on our separate, long pre-planned, Christmas getaways.

OK, I should probably leave this one to Bitter Barbie, the suicide bomber of truth, but its really getting on my tits.

What is it with Melbourne fags?!?

They are they MOST shy and reclusive of pack animals, and truly not very friendly.

I had thought it was me, but after a week away at Byron Bay where I was belle of the frickin ball, I am now coming to the conclusion that the problem is elsewhere.

So my friend Joe and I were at the Prahran Pool this weekend. Spectacular weather and all that, and quite a social outing. Lots of fags, splashing around enjoying the fine weather. But do they mingle? Do they talk between groups? Do they socialise? Do they meet and greet? The answer is a resounding NO!!

For some bizzar reason, this city seems to have been socially caught at the age of about 13. They are all stuck in their junior high school cliques, hanging out in their respective tree houses, dis’ing each other and not talking to strangers.

The whole city needs a sticker slapped on it that says “Gossip Happens!”, I shit you not. It is little wonder that certain individuals have fit into Melbourne like the ebola virus into a rabid fruit bat.

Let me tell you right here, and I say this with conviction, there is not a one of Marshas’ tree house gang that I would shag if my life depended on it. There is something seriously NOT hot about a guy that squeals like an eight year old girl when he gets his hair wet.

Its a good thing I have my blog to talk to.

Ok so I am just back from a little new years eve trip to Byron Bay, more on which I will speak later. To my great delight when I logged on I found that I FINALLY have a comment from someone.

Yay Misty Lopez!!!!

More on my summer adventures later - right now I need to be getting my tired arse into bed. G’nite y’all.

Run, run, run, run. Lordy its been a month of travel. But I am home again in my little cupboard in leafy Armadale and about to go to bed, but I thought I would scratch something down first.

Narnia

I saw The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe on Boxing Day like a good little boy and eh - its ok. I kind of agree with David and Margaret, but I was not blown away by it. Its been played with a very straight bat -I am sure C.S. Lewis would have approved, as will no doubt the god botherers. The effects are ok, but not exceptional, apart from the Beavers and Aslan. An indication that I wasnt carried away by the story is that I spent some time wondering if the head centaur was actually kind of hot, or if its just that I havent had sex in a loooooooong time. I think its mostly the later.

Tilda Swinton, who I usually adore, is a little wooden and not that scary as the Witch. I have to say I remember the character being a little more interesting, in a petulant, demanding sort of way. This kids however are excellent as are the voice talent for the animals.

Certainly its worth a look, and benefits from the big screen, but if I had to choose, I would pick Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang.

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Fruity Tooty

Next stop on the whirlwind tour is Queensland again to see that my mother is ok, and maybe just to visit my friend Tony in Byron Bay at New Years. Rumor has it there is a party there and Tony is trying to get me to go.