b r a v e c r e a t u r e s

I thought it would be worth while to reflect a little on the past year. I set myself a few goals for 2006 so lets have a look at how I did.

First and foremost

> Be happier

Definitely!

After the appallingly unhappy years of 2004 & 2005, '06 has been MUCH better. I have been caring a whole lot less what other people think, been concerning myself with my own stuff and living within my own limits. I had put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect, get everything right and not fail at anything I do, and that's just not possible I am afraid. I think the biggest thing I am learning is to forgive myself my weaknesses and worry about the things that I can effect and control rather than all the things outside my control.

With a new job has come some opportunities to affirm my capabilities to myself. The last job I had in the US was pretty draining in the end, and with all the other things that were going on behind my back - lies, betrayal, infidelity - my confidence was pretty shaken. This new role has allowed me to regain some of my strength, while the year of so off has taught me to not value myself for my work alone.

> Learn Spanish

Not quite.

Having met quite a number of Francophone's at the start of 2006 I went for French instead.

J'ai étudié French pour six mois avec L'Alliance de Francaise et je jouis l'expérience. My french classes are all of Saturday morning, about 4 hours each week. Its pretty draining, but I like the mental challenge. Apparently I have a good accent and my construction is good, but I need to work a little more on my vocab. I suspect I will try studying a different way this year as I appear to be spending a lot of time shuttling to Sydney on the weekends, which is difficult if my Saturday mornings are taken up.

I am enjoying it a lot though so I don't plan to give it up. I would really like to spend some time in France soon, as I suspect that would really help. I am thinking I might need to relocate for a while to Europe so I can get some immersion.
 
> Physical Adventures

I work out a lot, and mostly I enjoy the exercise, but I feel that gym work is a bit limited and unreal so this year I wanted to do some more physical things. While I didn't get into a really regular routine with anything, I managed a few adventures.
In January of this year I went diving on the Great Barrier Reef with a mate from France, and had a fantastic time. I learnt to dive after visiting the Maldives with Stephen in 1996. I got my certificate after that and went diving a couple of times, but dating an (unadventurous) asthmatic put a bit of a crimp in that so I hadn't been diving for years.

Its a really beautiful and peaceful experience.

Even my overactive cognition slows to a putter when I am underwater and my head is full of only the sounds of my own breathing.

I also went rock climbing a few times, which TOUGH but great. Its made harder for me given that I am nearly 115kgs and that's a lot of weight to dangle from your fingertips. I think there are also some technical skills that I need to learn because I was pretty crap at it, but I think I might go on an adventure weekend this year and see if I can pick a few things up.

Gliding is not exactly a physical adventure, but it was a blast none the less. I had developed over the long dark tea time of the soul that was '04/'05 a bit of an aversion to heights and flying. I found I had gotten really anxious about it, so I figured the best way to deal with that developing fear was to face it.

Gliding is an amazing sensation, peaceful and not at all scary - which surprised me a bit. I didn't go in for any acrobatics, unlike my adventure partner, but next time I will. And i am sure there will be a next time.

I am working my way up to parachuting, but one step at a time I think.

> Finish my Masters

Oops. Didn't get this one done. But you cant do everything. I have until the middle of next year so I still have some time up my sleeve, but I need to get a wriggle on.

> See more of Australia

After travelling in America, I decided that I need to make sure I had seen more of my own home country before I stepped outside again.
This year I managed Cairns, Port Douglas, the Daintree, the Reef, Batemans Bay, Jarvis Bay, Canberra , Byron Bay, Lismore and the Yarra Valley. I want to do some more short trips this year coming and I REALLY want to get to Uluru. I have not seen the desert interior of my country and I want to. I would love to cross the Nullabore on the  Indian Pacific train, or go to Darwin on the Ghan. We will see how those plans come along.

All up I think I did pretty well for 2006, so now its time to start thinking about what's on for 2007. I will make a more definitive list by my birthday in mid January, but for now here are some opening thoughts.

> Plan less, be more in the moment
> Become more financially stable
> Save the deposit for a apartment for my mother and purchase said property
> Complete my Masters thesis
> Disconnect myself completely from my ex (there is still some peripheral entanglement, but I am chipping away at it)
> Travel overseas again
> More physical adventures
 - Abseil
 - Parachute
 - Rafting
 - Snowboarding

As a final note on 2006 I think I will remember it as the year that I learned my heart hadn't grown cold and hard. It seems as badly hurt as I was by my ex, my capacity to be open and trusting was only set aside, not forsaken. While I have been proving this to myself, there is someone who as been a catalyst. I don't know where things are going with him, but I do know that  I am enjoying it and I have missed him a lot while we have been off on our separate, long pre-planned, Christmas getaways.

Last weekend I went on a get away from Sydney with Paul. We drove down the south coast of New South Wales visiting Jarvis Bay and stopping for the night at Batemans Bay . Both were really gorgeous and it was a pity we didn't have more time to spend there, but we were enjoying the road, the opportunity for uninterrupted conversation, and the weather on the coast was a little grey, so we pushed through to Canberra on Saturday morning.

That afternoon was glorious in the ACT and we decided to start sightseeing at Parliament House, New Parliament House that is. Its been there something like 20 years, you would have to wonder when we will stop calling it "new". I guess since we didn't do away with the charming, stodgy old pile of "Old" Parliament house and instead built it into the New House's ambiance, it will likely always be part of the landscape and so the new house will always be "new".

I have been to the new house before, but not for long, and this time we did the tour. It was well worth it, a better hour sight seeing I have not spent in a long time.

To my mothers lasting disappointment, I am not especially patriotic, but there is something about the New House that made me proud of my country. We are a smallish country, economically prosperous, generous internationally with our wealth and generally a friendly people. And we don't take ourselves too seriously. It turns out our government house really suits us.

There were a few things that stood out to me, that made me proud of my nations accomplishments and our restraint. 

As you arrive at the building, the first thing you come to is the Forecourt, with its stark beauty and its island water feature. The centre of it is a huge aboriginal art work, recognising the original inhabitants of the country. Even if the current government cant say sorry, my nation wants to be made whole through integration not assimilation. The water feature and the mosaic make an island surrounded by a ring of water. Like my country, a small island girt by sea.

This is what the place is like, not subtle but not crass. It has some simple, realistic messages that it speaks plainly. Again, like my people, the place is simply spoken and to the point. 

Across the Forecourt is the Great Veranda, which is grand as well as charming and welcoming, how many government houses have marble clad in vines and creepers. Unlike the US Houses of Government which, in my opinion, cold and forbidding Parliament House welcomes you and offers you respite from the heat generated in the Forecourt.

The doors the Veranda leads to are personal and welcoming. Its a place anyone can and should enter. Its the people house of government, not the governments house of the people.

The building is designed in a modern style that looks forward and does not try to conquer the landscape. Rather it melds itself into the hill on which it sits, enhancing the scene by joining it rather than fighting it. There is grass on the roof, and you can walk up there. So that the people stand over their government, not the other way around.

Hows that for symbolism. And its intentional.

There is lots more I could say about the place, I just loved it, but I will stop my rambling and say that it was the highlight of the trip (apart from the time with Paul, but that kind of goes without saying). If you get to Canberra make sure you make time for a visit.

More pictures, if you are interested, at Flickr .