Eat with both hands
by Robert on Dec.14, 2005, under Family Matters
Sometimes things happen in life that make you pause and reflect, and parents becoming sick is a big one.
My mother is currently recovering in hospital after a pretty serious operation. She was diagnosed a few weeks ago with bowel cancer and they were extremely keen to get in there and remove it. On top of that there were a few other things wrong which complicated matters, the most serious of which was an aortic anurism - a thinning of the wall of the major blood vessel coming from the heart.
If anything were to go wrong with that during the operation there would be, as the doctors like to understate, nothing that could be done.
Things like that really start you thinking about your life. Well it does for me at least.
My childhood was not the easiest. I am not complaining here, most of us can lay some claim to a troubled childhood, I am just telling it how it is from my perspective.
My parents seperated and divorced when I was about 10 years old and that put a lot of pressure on all of us. They both had their own businesses, but they really struggled to deal with the divorce AND run them. While I didnt understand it at the time, now I can really relate to the pressure the loss of a relationship can put you under.
My sister, who is 6 years older than me was OUT OF THERE. She left just before she turned 18 to go to university and never looked back. To this day she has nothing to do with my mother. While this is incredibly sad, its mostly for her. She is not a very happy person to be honest.
So it was just my mother and me, and that was tough. We are similar enough to make things a little tempestuous. Over the years we have had our share of fights and disagreements, and there was a time when we really didnt talk much at all, but in the last 10 years, things have really changed.
I guess we both stopped dealing from our assumptions and began to learn about each other again. Not the easiest thing for mother and son to do, but circumstances demanded it. I guess I get my inquiring mind from her, at least in part, because we have both really enjoy exploring people. So we have found ways to explore each other a fresh. And while she STILL Drives me nuts at times, I actually really like who my mother is.
My mother is an incredibly expansive woman, she occupies a lot of space, even though she is quite small. She is excited about everything, pleased to see everyone, remembers details and loves to make a production and an event out of the smallest thing. She is gracious and generous, and she really tries to do the best for everyone. She is not without fault, but as long as you are prepared to sit back and enjoy the ride, she is a lot of fun. Problems only start if you try to control her, because it just cant be done.
I know this is kind of sentimental so if you need to reach for the insulin please do so. Things have been tough the last month or so and I wont pretend otherwise, I have been really scared that I am going to lose her now as opposed to some undefined time in the future.
But if I do lose her, I can honestly say that we have shared a wonderful relationship, particularly over the last seven or so years. We havent wasted our time together.
As they say “Life is a Banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death”. Lucky for me, my mother taught me to eat with both hands.
As a brief postscript, my mother came through her operation and is doing fine. Things are looking great and she is recovering very quickly. I am very thankful.
