audentes fortuna iuvat

I thought it might be worth introducing this to London. I use Strine a little, but I keep being misunderstood by people – so time to educate the masses*

Australian spoken english using slang terms with no spaces in between words.

Someone who can actually speak fluent strine is very rare, generally only found in surf clubs or bowls clubs

e.g.

itsfuckenorrightaymate

avagoodweegend

garngetfucked

* The 6 masses that actually read this bloody thing

Tweet This Post

Fairy story's?

Ha!

What meaning do they have in the real world?

On the surface probably very little, but they touch archetypes and core issues we all face, and they speak to something in our hearts. Thats why they have survived so long.

And OK – I am a bloody romantic.

Recently I have been referred to as a Beast. Lets face it, i am large, strong willed, outspoken, impulsive, sometimes inconsistent – and yes, yes; apparently some what overwhelming – man. Its easy to mistake all of that, and the gruff bravado that goes with it for aggression. In fact that's not the truth – or at least not all of it.

Inside most beasts, and certainly this on, there is something and someone quite different.

Luckily for me there are those that see it.

But I think that I need to be better at showing it, one time I would like to have learnt the lesson before the final petal falls.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land,
A young Prince lived in a shining castle.
Although he had everything his heart desired,
The Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind.

But then, one winter's night,
An old beggar woman came to the castle
And offered him a single rose In return for shelter from the bitter cold.
Repulsed by her haggard appearance,
The Prince sneered at the gift,
And turned the old woman away.

But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances,
For Beauty is found within.
And when he dismissed her again,
The old woman's ugliness melted away
To reveal a beautiful Enchantress.

The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late,
For she had seen that there was no love in his heart.
And as punishment,
She transformed him into a hideous beast,
And placed a powerful spell on the castle,
And all who lived there.

Ashamed of his monstrous form,
The beast concealed himself inside his castle,
With a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world.
The Rose she had offered,
Was truly an enchanted rose,
Which would bloom for many years.

If he could learn to love another,
And earn her love in return
By the time the last petal fell,
Then the spell would be broken.
If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast
For all time.

As the years passed,
He fell into despair, and lost all hope,
For who could ever learn to love…a Beast? 

Tweet This Post

I am lucky with the friends I have. A long conversation with K tonight recovered some balance I had misplaced. I also recovered my choice to believe the best about people.

It probably makes me a fool – but I think I prefer it that way. I have been disappointed many times, but sometimes, just sometimes there is a surprise. And that makes it worthwhile.

This reminded me of the Tarot deck and the symbolism of the card – Fool.

The Fool is the spirit in search of experience. He represents the mystical cleverness bereft of reason within us, the childlike ability to tune into the inner workings of the world. The sun shining behind him represents the divine nature of the Fool's wisdom and exuberance.

On his back are all the possessions he might need. In his hand there is a flower, showing his appreciation of beauty. He is frequently accompanied by a dog, sometimes seen as his animal desires, sometimes as the call of the "real world", nipping at his heels and distracting him. He is seemingly unconcerned that he is standing on a precipice, apparently about to step off.

Believe in miracles. take leaps of faith, help who you can and have your starting position as trust.

The alternatives are not how I want to live.

Oh – and K, thank you for you care. I really appreciate your friendship, you are a gem.

Tweet This Post

This weeks brought some lessons and some reminders.

Lessons in how to do things differently to achieve a different outcome, and reminders of how lucky I am with the friends that I have.

A surprise visit, a thank you card and several very long days reminded me that good and bad, ups and downs, I have people who care.

Not that I had forgotten – but sometimes its nice to be told.

And now a little country music…

I'm a saint and I'm a sinner
I'm a loser, I'm a winner
I'm am steady and unstable
I am helpless but I'm able

Cora and Clara are my Grandmothers
I'm the spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they always know exactly where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

 Thanks to Jessica Andrews for the lyrics.

Tweet This Post

Longer, more inebriated and MUCH more expensive than happy hour

Tweet This Post

My mother, being fiercely patriotic and  not wanting me to forget how fabulous the home country is while I travel the old world, sent me this the other day. It got a laugh, I thought I would share.

It reminds me of Sharon and my "Observations on London" from 2001 – which I must get around to bringing up to date.

1. You know the meaning of the word 'girt'.

2. You know that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.

10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.

11. You believe the 'l' in the word ' Australia ' is optional.

12. You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.

15. You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.

19. You believe that something resembling cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburgers. They contain Beetroot. Of course!.

22. You know that certain additional words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song – Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'.

25. You wear ugg boots outside the house.

26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion, via your nose.

31. You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'.

32. You understand that it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerns the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.

35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You know that, whatever the tourist books say, no one actually says 'cobber'. That's a load of cobblers!

43. 'Mate', on the other hand, is compulsory.

44. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

Tweet This Post

I thought it was just me.

Seriously.

I thought I was the only fag who has chilled on the material girl. 

Hard Candy is OK – but its never grown on me as some people claimed it would (and you know who you are), unlike the Kelly Rowland or the Mariah Carey albums.

Given I thought I was the only one a bit lack luster on her, imagine my surprise when I asked around to find if anyone would be interested in going to Paris to see the Sticky and Sweet show – and no one was interested. 

Just about every one was totally "not bothered" about it. The most scaothing comment was – "who wants to see a 50 year old woman in lycra parading her camel toe around on stage to songs I don't like"?

Ouch.

The London show was ridiculously over priced and is a mammoth stadium, so unless you paid a fortune you were pretty much guaranteed to see just her on screen.

Might as well do that at home.

So it would seem that, at least for now, the picky fag audience is voting with its feet, credit cards, and snippy comments against Madonna.

Maybe I am not crazy.

Tweet This Post