Archive for September, 2006
"Many machines used to come pre-configured with AOL. I'd sooner access the Internet by tapping in rhythmic fashion on powers lines running into my home while drenched in highly-conductive saltwater."
I bet you thought I would never get around to you. Not so, you have been on my mind since I started the whole Blog Crush thing (actually stole the idea from someone else). So here it is.
I adore reading Queer Penguin. He is smart and funny and cuttingly insightful. And of course we share a left leaning pop culturist bent so the things he says resonate loud and clear with me. Sam is my watchbird on Australian politics since it appears that he reads every newspaper, every journal and listens to every announcement from our leadership. He seems to catch every nuance, slip and faux pas that pops out of the mouths of the powers that be.
Dare I say it, but QP is the Australian Jon Stewart in training.
Keep it up boy, with that mouth of yours, you are going to go a long way.
It's been a week of strange dreams. Some of them have been real doozies, and not the fantasy, dancing jalapeños with strawberry cricket bats or the super Mario flying kind. They have been dreams of things that I would like to happen, day dreams coming to me as I have slept with all the technicolour and full sense-o-round that asleep dreams have.
There has been no need to translate; I get what these dreams mean – both directly and indirectly. They are me dealing with the loss of a(nother) very substantial dream, the second most significant dream of my life. My capacity for hope in the face of adversity and defeat keeps trying to assert itself, when there is pretty much no hope to be had. I am clinging to the things that have made me happy in the past, even when they are no longer on offer
I recognize that the solution for me is the find new dreams, to find new things to fill my nights and my fantasies but the two things I dream about are so strong for me – my love of San Francisco, my life and my friends there; and my still abiding love for my ex.
One of these two I can do something about – San Francisco. The place keeps calling to me. I want to share an email that I got from a friend when he found out I wasn't making it over a couple of weeks back. I have paraphrased a little to protect his identity.
Sweetheart
I will call you as soon as I get to work tomorrow….or actually in the afternoon because you are ahead…..the BF and I were REALLY bummed. I looked for you everywhere. I kept my phone by my bed each night…..
We are hiring…..
I know you did not work in my area BUT, you are a seasoned PM and have incredible leadership qualities…..if you want, send me your resume and I can see what my boss says.It is a thought. I will see what I can do on my end; if you want….I may know someone to help….you never know.
Love
T&T
And this is only one of a number of messages from people I haven't seen since April 2004. Is it any wonder that I feel like it's my home?
People ask me all the time why I want to leave Australia. The best answer I can give is that while this is a wonderful place, I would always want to come back here, and if things were different I would ABSOLUTELY have made a happy home here, right now it's not the place for me.
Here in Australia, and in Melbourne in particular, I am too big, too loud, too brash and to over the top. I startle and surprise far more than I delight. So do I change me, or my location? The truth is that the man the last 3 years have forged needs other horizons, other types of people.
So once I have regained some composure, I will see what the real outcome is in relation to the US. And failing that, things look quiet hopeful for London in the spring.
The question all of this leaves me with is – do you hold on to your dreams; high, fiery noble dreams; regardless of cost, work and fight for them for all you are worth, or do you surrender to the whims of chance and accept the dreams that fit into your circumstances and make the best of them?
Or does being true to yourself and also true to the world require some middle ground, and area I have long been bad at exploring.
In the meantime, I sit here with a milky hot chocolate and a tasty Cote D'Or Bouchee and hope that the sleep that's been avoiding me tonight will come soon. And that it will bring with it happy dreams complete with Marios Flying Cap.
OK, so name me a world leader with a partner that you could describe as hot.
Laura Bush? Too Stepford.
Cherie Blair? Too Lex Luthor
Janette Howard? Um…who?
Camilla Parker Bowles? Oh HELL no!!
Rosalynn Carter, Barbara Bush, Betty Ford, Nancy Reagan, Hillary Clinton? Sweet, but simple; Crazy as a loon, Put the bottle down Betty, that red dress is getting TIRED, Hilary is a maybe, but then she is a big of a bloke and so gets my motor running a little.
Kayoko Miyamoto is very pretty, but she divorced Koizumi so I don't think she counts. And Dianna is dead so also out of the running.
Trust not only the faggots but the GERMAN faggots to come up with a candidate for first hot spouse of world leader.
Second term mayor of Berlin, Klaus "Wowie" Wowereit, appears to being groomed (eh hum, like he needs it) to run against Angela Mirkin Merkel for the position of Chancellor of Germany. And his boyfriend, Jorn Kubicki? TOTALLY HOT!! In a very German, whose your daddy kind-o-way.
Of course the international media is totally focusing on him (Klaus') being a flaming Mo. Paraphrasing the press its been all "Like Oh my GOD, he TOTALLY hugged his partner when he won his second term". What do you expect? A firm, manly handshake? If it was any other leader, if they DIDN'T hug their partner it would have been a big deal.
Double standards people.
All of this is of course exacerbated by him causing a storm among more traditional voters last year by endorsing a sex-fetish fair in the capital featuring sado-masochism, bondage and other deviant pursuits. Its GERMANY for gods sake, they pretty much invented "deviant pursuits". Its got to just be in the national interes, hasn't it?
Personally I am having almost endlessly happy day dreams of George Bush sitting down at the G8 with Wowie, no neck rubs there I suspect.
I have no idea about his politics, and since I don't vote in Germany my opinion doesn't matter†, but I am all for him.
Meanwhile in other international-leaders-who-could-be-gay news – the Exclusive Brethren, the true love of conspiracy theorists world wide, have "apparently" been trying to frame the kind-of-hot-herself Prime Minister of New Zealand, Helen Clarkes, husband Peter Davis, for being gay.
You would think the right wing nut job god botherers christian lobbyist could come up with a better evil plan legitimate strategy to take over the world influence politics. Really people – some CREATIVITY please, I mean where have all the truly evil masterminds gone?
Its little wonder that I cant I get fricken sharks with fricken lasers in their heads if the demand for them is so low.
†Shocking, I know
On my window ledge at my desk I have a snow globe from San Francisco. It's a really nice one, glass with a ceramic base rather than plastic, given to me by a friend when James and I were to first leave at the end of 2002. I keep it there as a reminder of where I want to be. It's a talisman of hope.
Its had a crack in it for a while, but I have kept it there because cracked dreams are not broken – right? Where there is life, there is hope – right?
This morning I got up and found that it had broken completely. The water had run out and evaporated, the opalescent glitter it held had spilled onto the window ledge.
I am not a big one for believing in signs, but sometimes its hard to not believe that the universe is telling me something.
Time to find some new dreams I guess – as Barbie says "Another Suitcase in Another Hall ".
kidult (ki.DULT or KID.ult) n.
A middle-aged person who continues to participate in and enjoy youth culture. -adj. Relating to something, particularly a form of media, that appeals to both children and adults.
Example Citation:
'Adult toys' may sound like a risque phrase, but it is also used to describe the playthings that 'kidults' (those of us who never quite grew up) have been buying in increasing numbers.
-Celia Walden, "Trigger happy," Mail On Sunday, January 13, 2002
Earliest Citation:
And in the background, on a much less lavish scale, is LBS communications, which doesn't own its own stations but provides a lucrative stream of 'kidult' – children, teenager and young adult – programming to independents.
-Peter Martin, "Coming Soon: TV's New Boy Network," The Times, August 11, 1985
Notes:
This blend of kid and adult was made semi-famous (in some circles, anyway) last year with the release of a CD titled "Kidults," by Mandy Patinkin. (For some reason, imparting that information makes me want to heave a great sigh.)
Thank you for Smoking is Fox Searchlights latest foray into the black arts of ironic truth selling. Based on Christopher Buckleys, this is a cutting look at todays culture of spin. While the film focuses on the tobacco industry there are messages there for just about any lobby group you care to think of.
Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) is chief spokesman for "Big Tobacco". He makes his living defending the rights of smokers and cigarette makers in today's hypocritically puritanical culture. 1200 people might die every day from tobacco-related illnesses, but Nick can successfully puts the case for cigarette smoking to anyone, even a 15-year-old dying of cancer.
Nick may be morally bankrupt as he defends the indefensible, but he is so adroit at what he does that, perversely, he’s a joy to behold as he ducks and weaves and somehow makes the most ridiculous argument sound persuasive. Things come undone for him however when he is outmanuvered by journalist Heather Holloway, (Katie Holmes).
A tight funny script, excellent pacing and wonderful performances makes this all up a great movie with an interesting message, and not the one I expected. I was all set for an antismoking rant, but what I was left with is a reminder that the things we do in life are largely our own decisions. Smoke, eat bad food, drive fast – whatever your vice, in the end it was your decision and in the end only you will bear the consequences.
All of the cast, including Maria Bello, Cameron Bright, Adam Brody, Sam Elliott, David Koechner, William H. Macy, J.K. Simmons, Robert Duvall & Rob Lowe do an outstanding job with Macy excelling as always and Rob Lowe cementing his typecasting as the Hollywood crazy.
Worth seeing at the cinemas, but if you miss it get the DVD.
My understanding of this term, bravery, is changing. Obviously this is a term of some interest to us here at Brave Creatures.
At one time I thought it meant not being afraid of anything. Later, I thought it meant facing your fears and overcoming them.
Now a comedy of errors combined with a shit storm of misfortune has lead me to a new understanding. Being brave means not only facing your fears and doing what needs to be done, it also means accepting failure, facing your responsibility, and moving on. If there is no way to fix it or change it, then doing something else. It means living the life yu have with grace and dignity.
Being brave is smaller than the movies would have us believe. Its much more attainable.
Personally I would like to thank Bill. He is in a dreadful position, and while I am sure Scott edits out most of the public displays of grief, misery and (deserved) self pity there is more than enough to see that he is suffering.
But while he is suffering, he maintains his sense of humor and his sharp, observant intellect. I dont undervalue Scotts contribution, he is one of the best writers I have ever read, but it is Bill who is locked away. Its Bill how has to deal with a deeply inhumanising circumstance.
So I want to say, "Thanks Bill. Your example serves to embolden me. Its helped me to find bravery where, a year ago, there would have been none."
Thank you
And by the way, the figures in the image with this post are not intended to represent Scott and Bill.
At least I dont think so.
Yes, yes, more from Bill and Scott .
"Homophobes should navigate away from this site and then immediately go and drink anti-freeze. It looks pretty and it tastes good too!"
The eclectic ramblings from the semi-charmed life of a slightly cranky 40-something peripatetic Australian fag with delusions of normalcy.
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