Brave Creatures

I had a thought the other day, about the nature of our world governments. And I am wondering if we haven't ended up back in some kind of monarchy.

I know that here in Australia, like many other countries† such as the US, the UK, Canada and Germany are nominally democracies of one stripe or another, but looking at how we talk about our government it feels like or heads of state are starting to regain the roles traditional place as all powerful monarch. We talk about the Bush Administration, or the Howard government as if the head of state is all powerful.

Meh!

The other day I heard that Director of Reconciliation Australia, Mick Dodson, has refused to deal with the Aboriginal Affairs Minister, Mal Brough, rather he will only deal with Mr Howard.

One - J'Ho shouldn't  be a one stop shop for everyones problems, no matter what he or random 16 year old school boys think.

Two - Dude! Can you not like work with someone to get a resolution. Phah. You can't pick your family, so stop getting your panties bunched about Mal Brough and get ON WITH IT. There are enough problems for Indigenous Australians with out you pulling a prissy. 

I am going to circle back to the whole "Head of State as Monarch" thing‡, but not tonight. Tonight we are going to have a little look at what happens when two of these new age Monarchs meet and greet.

No matter how powerful people become, basic school yard behaviour never seems far away. We know that the US is a little miffed at the Krauts about the whole not invading Iraq thing - cause, you know, that went so well. And if the Germans had joined in the blame would be spread a little thinner.

I also think that the US is still a little smug about the whole World War II thing.

At the recent G8 summit George Bush just didn't seem to be able to keep his hands to himself. He just had to step into Chancellor Merkels personal space with a bit of inappropriate behavior that in any other context would have earned any other person a trip to HR and some pretty serious counselling - that is IF the other party didn't press charges. In this case, since he is carrying the nuclear football it seems that we all shrug and look the other way.

Merkel at least clearly didn't appreciate the "gesture" but was able to give George a very clear NO MEANS NO. I must admit that I have an increased appreciation for George Bush's cultural illiteracy and rank stupidity courage. As anyone who has spent any time in Germany will be aware, you DON"T mess with the Hamburg Girls - they will FUCK YOU UP.

Given that Angela Merkel, a good Hamburger Fraulein, wiped the floor with cutely named, long standing incumbent of the role Gerhard Schröder. His good hair and craggy good looks (think Emilio Zegna model past his prime) was never going to save him once she got traction. Sorry dude. Personally I think its been a good transition for him. In my opinion, he was always going to be much happier following his musical career.

Covering the world from the tinyist, not to mention coldest flat in christendom is not an easy charge, but we here at Brave Creatures are deeply committed to boldy pursue the stories, the truth you need, no matter the cost.

Well enough of the truth to give you a general and fairly well slanted picture - or to get a gag out. Given the quality of journalism at the momnent we feel we are running well within the pack.

To improve the serivice to you are unpaying, but deeply devoted audiaqcne we here at Brave Creatures are starting to partner with other new affiliates to bring you more depth and insight on an issue, And in this case we are crossing live to New York City for some of Americas most hard hitting journalism on the Merkel Massage incident.

Thanks Jon .

† I dont include France in this list because they are too busy having sex and Italy because they are pretty much crazy.

‡ Oh and dont you know Betty Windsor is excited

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babsolalia n.

1. Psychiatry. The immediate and involuntary repetition of words or phrases just spoken by others, as a symptom of alcohol induced loss of higher brain function

2. The infantile repetition of the sounds made by others, a normal occurrence in alcohol poisoning.

3. The semi random text created by someone using sms or instant messenger while extremely drunk.

Based on: Echolalia n.

1. Psychiatry. The immediate and involuntary repetition of words or phrases just spoken by others, often a symptom of autism or some types of schizophrenia.
2. An infant's repetition of the sounds made by others, a normal occurrence in childhood development.

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With a name like G Force it just had to be good - Battle of the Planets was one of my all time favorite cartoons when growning up. It and Doctor Who were the two programs I would fight tooth and claw to watch. My sister stood no chance against my adolecent-mo powers when it came down to it.

I am going to partiually quote Wikipedia here, cause they do a great job of summing the show up 

Battle of the Planets casts five young people as G-Force, consisting of Mark, Jason, Princess, Keyop, and Tiny. G-Force protects Earth from planet Spectra and other attacks from 'beyond space'. Their main ship is The Phoenix, which can deploy four smaller vehicles, each operated by one team member.

A regular plot feature was the deus ex machina transformation of The Phoenix into a flaming bird-shaped craft able to handle virtually any exceptional situation by functioning something like a large blowtorch. The Phoenix's primary weapon was a large supply of rockets. It also occasionally flaunted a powerful solar-powered energy blaster, although the team usually had the misfortune of choosing very cloudy days to use it and fell back on the flaming bird thingie.

Battle of the Palents was very Japanese in it construction and themeing (why does an alient enemy need to make all of its wepons look and operate like earth animals - mythological or otherwise. I never got that), but somehow very American in its moral context. Tedious at times, but as a 10 year old it was like ambrosia.

Although I must admit that I never understood why the aliens from Spectra, in particularly the strangely hermaphroditic "Zoltan", could always lose even though they had such great outfits.

On a similarly homo-theme, I must admit I always wondered why Mark and Jason didnt get together. There was a REALLY high level of visible sexual tension between them. Apparently this, along with graphic violence, profanity and transgenderism was excised from the original Japanese series when it was preped for US and then Australian markets. 

I also had a thing for Marks hawk shaped boomarang doovy, which interestingly enough was echoed years later (and possibly unconciously) in the Spice Girls film clip for "Say You'll be there ", which fyi was the thing that made me appreciate how perfectly and delciously aweful the SG's were. Given the film clips combination of bad outfits, too much make up, cheesy kung fu moves and Vitoria Beckhams trademark rhythmless posturing, its amazing its tongue in cheek self depreciation 

When you look at it, its not all that astounding that all of these things are linked by my some what campy taste, now is it.

YAdda 

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Thanks to friends in the UK with DVD recorders, I have been keeping a pretty close tab on the latest series of Doctor Who. If you haven't seen it at all, and you have even a vague liking for science fiction, its well worth tuning in. Even the Americans seem to be getting it this time around.

For me one of the big changes to the series was the upgrading of the "Doctors Companion" from helpless-waif-in-need-of-saving to a fully fleshed character in their own right. Even the marvelous Sarah-Jane Smith was a bit of a screaming ankle turning, at least when compared to the ballsy Rose Tyler. But then Rose has more of a vested interest in being the Doctors equal, and lets face it in 2006 and female characters have come some distance to becoming equals in most situations. But Rose is a standout, even over shadowing Janeway in my books.

Interestingly enough, another thread thats turned up in the series is some romantic and sexual interest. The Doctor has pretty much been a eunuch up until now, apart from that sad telly movie. In the last two series there has been love interest aplenty with Madame de Pompadour, the bisexual Captain Jack, some clear admissions of feelings for good ol Sarah-Jane and of course our girl Rose.

The new series has been really wonderful, fast paced, interesting, camp and funny with enough drama and excitement to make tuning in a pleasure. On top of which I have really engaged with the growing relationship between Doctor and Rose. It was even helped along by the Doctors unexpected regeneration at the end of 2005 - that was a surprise. Given that Russel T. Davies , of Queer as Folk fame, is involved its not so surprising that its so hot a show.

And now Billie Piper has decided to move on from the series, apparently because she wants to avoid being typecast as Rose. Which is really a sadness. Perhaps the void in my viewing pleasure will be filled with the return of Captain Jack in the upcoming spinoff - Torchwood. Fingers crossed that Jack lays off the foundation.

Exploring YouTube the other day I came across the following  which provides a fitting tribute to the relationship between the Doctor and Rose. I am constantly amazed by the things that people are cooking up at home now a days.

The following video will absolutely give away the surprises around Rose dying, so if you have'nt seen the final episode of the 2006 series, Doomsday, then you might want to NOT watch this.

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I was up in Sydney for a couple of days this week for some business and it was a pleasure to go back. I lived there for nearly 10 years, nearly 10 years ago but it's been at least 18 months since I was there and YEARS since I spent much time there. There were a few things that really jumped out at me about the place.

• Stunning blue sky in winter - don't get that in Melbourne*
• Torrential down pours
• No cabs what so ever when it's raining
• Very friendly but superficial and emotionally distant boys
• Melbourne bashing e.g. "ooh how do you live THERE - isn't the weather awful". See my comment re torrential downpours
• A desperate need for validation of Sydney as an international city - I heard "as good as LA" three times in 2 days, and I have to ask myself why you would want to be
• GREAT public transport - I am such a train whoreRelaxed clothing and hair that doesn't need to make a statement. Brown puma trackie on the right butt and/or worn with the right attitude are more haute than the in-est of European designer
• Muscley boys, at least compared to Melbourne
• Overhearing conversations about business, finance and global current events rather than hair, clothes and what other people were "seen" doing
• Overhearing conversations about peoples sex lives that make you think "wow that's hot" rather than "wasn't that in Dolly?"
• Olympic inspired refurbishment of the streets - the place still looks immaculate almost 6 years later. That didn't happen for the Commonwealth Games, let me tell ya.

Having been the only muscle bear in the village for the last 2 years, and not at all the fashion of the place, I have grown used to getting little or no attention from the inhabitants of Stepford Melbourne. Imagine my surprise and delight to be actually approached in cafes and pursued down the street by GOOD looking boys wanting to presses their, um, phone number on me.

Now I recognize that this is partially because I was out where-the-wild-things are which doesn't happen much in Melbourne, but it was also because the people in Sydney are a bit more forward, more direct, more like me in some ways.

All of this in 3 days 2 nights - and I didn't get to most of my old haunts like City Gym, Tamarama, Redleaf or Paddington. It was good to remember the good and the bad about a place you have lived and loved, and it got me thinking about the differences between Sydney and Melbourne - particularly since I am preparing to start shopping for a new city to call home.

I think part of the reason Sydneysider are more outgoing is because they are more transient, in lifestyle as well as in relationships. They more ambitious and are always on the look out for the next opportunity to upgrade lifestyle, standing, friends and lovers. So as an apparently new conquest I appear to have been something of a two day sensation.

Lucky me.

I was flattered but not fooled. I am aware that they move on as fast as they move in, that one of the reasons I left. There was a joke around town - "what does a Sydney boy bring on a second date?" Answer, "what second date?"

There is quite a contrast between Sydneysider and Melbournians behavior on this sort of social front.

The southerners are a much more closed shop, they stick to the people they know and tend to be a little unwelcoming of newcomers. I have heard from a few people that it took them a couple of years to develop a social network in Melbourne. I know this is all something of a generalization, but I think they tend to be more stable in their social circles and are much less interested in meeting new people because they still mingle with people they have known all their lives. They grew up here and so they still have all the friends they made since they were in high school.

Let's face it, if you're up to your Dunbar number, and you know they aren't going to leave you, why would you bother to get to know other people? I don't think this is a conscious behavior but its there, even some of the nicest people I know here do it.

So is this a better approach than Sydneys much sluttier friendlier but more transient behavior?

Given how I feel about loyalty, you would expect me to say yes resoundingly, but not so much. It seems that this closed social circles leads, at least from what I can see, to some pretty closed minded behavior. And it also seems to lead to personal complacency, the feeling that you don't need to change, to grow. And maybe in that sort of environment, you don't. For me however, with out growth there is only stagnation.

Personal examination isn't always easy, but an unexamined life is shallow and unsatisfying, that's not for me. Someone once said to me "I don't want to think about the things I have done wrong - it's just too upsetting". I am not sure what sort of life that leads to, but I don't think I want to find out. I have spent too much time trying to figure out how to NOT repeat my mistakes and how to actively take advantage of the things I do right.

Is Sydney's approach better than Melbourne's? No, I don't think so; they work for different people and at different times of life. Let's face it, when I was married and living here, I really didn't care if people didn't make an effort, if they were not welcoming, I had all the companionship and emotional fulfillment I needed.

As a single person it's been a different experience. The last two years have been a time of introspection so its been a good thing for me to have a low level of socialization, and its meant that the couple of friends here I have become very close with.

But the time of introspection is drawing to a close and somewhere there is a change coming. That change is going to almost certainly mean a relocation. I was nice to see Sydney and realize that I could live there again, although truth be told, my sights are set further a field.

PS I just want to say that both Sydney and Melbourne are wonderful places, with a lot to recommend either of them. People will love living in either place, and in my time I have loved being in both. To those people who might be offended that I am disrespecting either I say this - I am glad you have found a place that makes you so happy, and hope that one day I do to. For all its charm, I dont think Melbourne is that place for me.

*slap me - the skies in Melbourne were clearer and bluer the day I got back

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Twinklator n

a 30+ person against whoes charms twinks are powerless to defend themselves. Someone who is very sexually attracted and successful at attracting younger partners.

related

Twink n

Common term used to describe a young or young looking gay man.

Twinkie, twinkle, or the most common abbreviation twink, is used in gay slang to describe an attractive young or young-looking male, invariably in their early to mid twenties, usually of slender build, only slightly muscular, with little or no body hair (often referred to as a "swimmer's build").

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My beloved Barbie had a nasty communications incident the other day and I think it provides a salutary lesson for us all.

Having had an interesting but not inspiring evening out, and with more than a couple of special lemonades under her stylish, up to the minute designer belt she had stumbled, perhaps a little unsteady in her sling backs, back to the glamorous South Yarra Pentflat. As the evening had failed to provide any substantial gentlemanly attention, Babs decided to make use of her wireless broadband. So with hot toddy après in hand she logged on to a salacious "dating" site see if she couldn't "order in" what the evenings venues had sadly failed to provide.

Now Babs may have been suffering from a mild case of champagne induced good sense deprivation so when she thought she was feeling a little too awake, she decided to add a (couple of) stilnox into the mix - and suddenly the evening took a turn for the bizarre with a little side trip to the valley of the Barbie's.

Now details are sketchy at this point but we have managed to reconstruct events from the available evidence.

For me, I became aware that there had been an "incident" when I got up early the following morning, as is my wont on Sundays*, to find a long rambling tirade waiting for me in an MSN Messenger window. Something about being incensed that someone had the audacity to BLOCK Barbie on some online dating service and that I must use my apparently boundless contacts in the cybersphere to TRACK down this odious individual so Babs could confront and heap her withering scorn upon them. Things didn't seem to have gone well.

From there the dire tribe on my computer screen descended into what appeared to be a language almost completely devoid of vowels. Evidence, I surmised, of Bab's first class education in the finest of Swiss finishing schools.

It wasn't until I found 28 sms'd examples of babsolalia on my cell phone that I started to worry. I figured it would be worth popping past the Pentflat on my way to the gym†.

On the way I called Babs (biological) sister to see if she had heard anything. Apparently she had been disturbed a number of times around 4am by someone calling and speaking in tongues. Since she had been occupied by some unnamed 22 year old sportsman with an unstoppable springy dick, she had just taken the phone off the hook and focused on the task at hand.

Upon arrival at the Pentflat I climbed the back stairs to the kitchen balcony and opening the door (I have a key for just this sort of emergenc) There I found a bleary eyes Babs fork lifting her head up from where it appeared to have finally slumped, with no small amount of force, onto the keyboard of her stylish slim line white ibook. The resulting imprint of TYUIOP on Bab's otherwise flawlessly smooth forehead was a little difficult to explain for the 3 days it took to fade. We discussed a hijab, but in the end decided that in the current climate it was probably ill advised.

I think the lesson to be learned here is two fold. Firstly, strong liquor and barbiturates are not the safest of bedfellows unless one is closely supervised, and secondly, that more communications options is not always a good thing.

*loser
† yes on a Sunday morning - dateless, loser

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Its probably time to start cleaning out my blog roll and up dating it to the few I actually read. This thought combined with a little blog ramble today made me decide it was time for a new semi regular section section - namely my latest blog crush. These are people who for one reason or another have caught my eye. In truth the idea came from another of my blog crushees - Steph of Much Ado about Sumthin.

The premier edition blog crush is LoudLush, a loud mouthed, hard drinking, arty Australian girl who can write like no-ones business. She has reminded me that some of my best inspiration comes out of my anecdotes and real life experiences. So after a bit of a slump due to some personal circumstances, I have decided to stop just reporting on life around me and actually start writing some more stories. Even if they are not actually completely true, they are very fun.

It might take me a whole to get some written, but in the meantime pop over and catch the Lush, make sure you read her Breakfast at Epiphany's.

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Arn't children amazing? So perceptive.

And the likeness is uncanny.

Given I am heading to Sydney today for my US Visa interview, I thought this would be a good picture to leave with.

Fingers crossed on the Visa interview and hopefully I will get to vote. 

Tip o the melon warmer to Boozhy , who is currently stationed with my friend Billy. Defending coastal New York from heathen invaders.

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egosurfing pp.

Scouring the Internet's archives and search engines for mentions of your own name or your business name.

Example Citation:
"Are you curious to see where your name appears online? If so, you might have tried asking your favourite search engine where your name appears. There is a term for this - it's called 'egosurfing.' "
-Maria O'Daniel, "Several reasons for going on egosurf trip," New Straits Times, October 18, 1999

Notes:
This word appeared originally in Gareth Branwyn's Jargon Watch column (Wired magazine).

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