I had thought it was just me, but a conversation over café et croissants at a break at my French classes surprised me when someone else bought up one of my pet peeves.
People who stand directly in front of the doors of a train when it pulls in, there by blocking the people trying to get off.
Ok so WTF is that about? I have given up trying to wade through the logic. Not only is it rude and inconsiderate, I can't see that it gets the offenders on any faster. You have got to wonder what is going on, not only in people's heads but in society that we are not thinking a little more about each other. It not like you can't see the people trying to get off.
Another example of the same behavior is at the baggage carrousel at the airport. It seems that some kind of arms race of distance has developed over the 35 or so years* I have been flying. When I was a child in the stylish burgundy traveling suit my mother had selected for me I clearly recall the family stood off at some distance while my father waited on the luggage. He and the other travelers waited a good distance from the conveyer belt, at least 2 or 3 meters, so that everyone could see the bags and there would be no trouble in getting them off.
Now however, things have changed. People crowd around the carrousel, jostling and elbowing each other to try and see their bags. It's not fun, it's not comfortable and it's certainly not faster. So what's happened?
As a society we seem to be far less aware of personal space, other people's that is. Our own personal space we are still very protective of. And as it is compressed by the jostling crowds created by our urban societies everyone's patience seems to be wearing a little thin. With all the pressure around us, it seems that we protect our space by distancing ourselves, mentally at least from those around us. Objectifying and viewing people we don't know as simply part of the background.
And since they are part of the background, we don't need to care about them or respect them.
I have been wondered if this has anything to do with the Dunbar Number, which simply put, is a theory that the number of people we can interact with socially is a biologically set number determined by the size of our brains. The theory sets the number at between about 100-200 people. The theory in itself makes some sense to me. Think about it for a second, how many people do you directly interact with on a day to day basis? Not just pass by, actually know the name of. 150 seems a reasonable number. All of the other species on the planet function optimally in different, but specific group sizes, why not us?
Unfortunately it seems that biology isn't keeping up with our technical and population advancements. Since we live in societies with groups WAY bigger than 150, clearly something is going to start happening for us to deal with all of these extra interactions. Part of what seems to have happened is that be distance ourselves from people not part of out social group either by mentally moving them into the background or relegating them to the other, the "Them" in "Them and Us".
As a project manager, one of my biggest tasks is to bind a team together to get a job done, and I have to say if the team gets too big, or doesn't interact enough things get dicey real fast. It seems as humans, we just don't play nice with too many other kids. And the result seems to be this low level social hostility, ignoring each other to try and avoid conflict.
I am not sure that there is much we can do about the biology of the problem. Evolution will deal with it eventually I suspect, but in the meantime we need to develop coping strategies, or at least better ones. All of our emotional thermostats seem to be turned up due to the constant friction and largely unintentioned hostility we are running into on a day to day basis.
I am sure that there is some large scale cultural modal that could be implemented from the top down to deal with the issue. Governments, could engage in wide ranging social engineering to deal with the issue and remove pressure from our lives - but chances are they wont. Not until there is some grass roots demand for it. As usual, the solution to the grind of this day to day pressure is probably more likely to be something personal. Something we do for ourselves.
For me, it means trying to not see strangers at luggage carousels and at train stations as enemies or just a background. It means trying to give way a little more and let other people past. And as creepy and new age as that sounds, I really do it out of self interest. It makes the world feel a little less hostile to me and calms things in my world considerably.
If calming your own nerves a little because the crush of city life becomes less hostile isn't enough, the occasionally smile of thanks from someone carrying an armload of parcels is an amazing reward.
You should try it sometime.
* dog years
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The eclectic ramblings from the semi-charmed life of a slightly cranky 40-something peripatetic Australian fag with delusions of normalcy.