Inspire

I had a great posting prepared for today, all about gay profiles and why I abandoned them. But alas a technology glitch snatched success from me.

In a style that would make my mate Eric proud, I have been writing entries on the train using my PocketPC iPaq 3870 and a micro keyboard – all of which I liberated from a previous employer, as a legit part of severance of course. The little iddy biddy keyboard is a little pokey, but I can get out a fair clip of writing and it makes the train trips faster. Plus its all really easy to carry around, so I figure its worth it.

That is until you accidentally delete it when syncing the device. Let me tell ya, the whole Apple iSync thing – it ROCKS.

There I said it, ok.

So for now my posting is lost. Until I get to work since its also on my computer there, but for now I am going to have to wing it.

Let me talk about my friend Bull from Canada.

He is a 40 something gay man living on Vancouver Island with his partner, the equally beautiful “Beard”. They are the quintessential bear couple. Hunky, sexy and not afraid of exploring their wilder side. In fact I suspect Bull and Beard have gone places no man has gone before, that is not without a dozen wagons, a blacksmith, a hardware store of equipment, a set of Tiffany lamps and a team of Sherpas.

These boys are serious. Fuck with then but you sure as shit don’t mess with them.

And yet for a serious muthafucker Bull is kind and funny, charming and very, very considerate. I have a soft spot for him because on a day that was black and cold, when I was very down, out of the blue he emailed me. Just to say “hi, heard things have been tough for you. You will be ok, but I hope you are ok now”.

Its little things like that that keep you ticking over when times are hard. It keeps your faith up.

Bull and I have started talking again by email and its easy to remember what it is I like about him. He is smart and funny and sharp as a pin. He and Beard are happy together, living a simple life and enjoying the things that are in it. They enjoy the parts of the world that are good for them, avoid the others and let the people who don’t like or approve of them go fuck themselves. They are beloved of the little old ladies in their village, septum piercings and all.

Plus there is something about him, both of them actually, that is just super sexy to me. For me that’s no mean feat, remembering of course that I am never having sex again.

It had slipped my mind, but both of them have A-MA-ZING bodies. Huge, masculine, mature and stunningly put together. Seeing them both, and talking to him reminded me that there are complex and amazing people out there. I loved being part of that world and I have been missing it here in my fortress of solitude .

Living in San Francisco, I was part of a tribe, a pack of incredible people. Not particularly rich, or famous, or stunningly beautiful people, well not the sort you see in fashion magazines, but good people, complex people and wonderfully engaging people. People who look after themselves for their own pleasure, not because they want to fit in or impress. People who look after those around them out of kindness, not because they want something out of it.

I miss that.

So tonight I got my hair cut, I did some more cardio and I ate low carb again for the first time in a few weeks. Because taking good care of myself makes me happy, because I miss my tribe, because I miss being THAT me.